Is it time to cheat?

Posted by Marital Affair
Posted: July 10, 2013

couple in bed having an affairThese days you can’t get away from sex. It’s in headlines, on every billboard and all over the internet – and everyone’s getting more than you, right? Wrong! In fact in the majority of long term relationships sex is a bi-weekly or weekly event, but what if it’s completely non-existent? It’s easy to assume that in a sexless marriage, it’s the man doing all the begging. In actual fact lack of sex in a long term relationship is a problem affecting thousands of women across the US, but is lack of sex really a reason to cheat?

Sarah’s Story

Sarah from Missouri is one of the many women affected by a sexless relationship. The Lafayette based real estate agent has been married to her husband Tom for ten years and the sex has gradually dwindled ever since their relationship began. At present, the couple have only made love three times in the last year.

Sarah explains:

“We moved into a new home recently and I keep looking at the sofa, the shower, the kitchen table and thinking ‘we should have christened those by now’, but we haven’t. My husband drinks every night and works very long hours so I understand that he’s tired, but even when we go on vacation we don’t get intimate.

I’ve talked to my husband at length about my concerns and explained that I need sex to be part of our relationship, but he still hasn’t made an effort and I can’t help but draw the conclusion that he simply doesn’t find me attractive anymore. It’s a shame because our relationship is good in many ways, he does look after me and he’s a great dad, but I’m finding it harder and harder to live without intimacy.”

So what do the experts think? We asked erotic fiction writer Amy Sampson and marriage counsellor Tori Jones for their opinions. Here’s what they had to say:

It’s Time to Cheat

Amy Sampson, an erotic fiction writer from Boston, explained her reasons for saying yes to cheating:

My sex drive is much higher than my husband’s but I’d say we have a healthy sex life. However, if the sex stopped I would have no problem looking elsewhere. I have a lot of friends in France and having an affair is not nearly as much of a taboo there as it is here, in fact it’s almost mandatory! People there tend to have a lot more open marriages which seems to work well if the companionship and security is there in the relationship. In the US there’s a tendency for couples to think they have to simply ‘put up with it’, but that’s not the case. Sex is an essential part of life and sitting twiddling your thumbs waiting for it to happen will get you nowhere. If there’s no sex in a relationship and it can’t be resolved, I don’t see a problem with cheating.

Don’t Cheat

Tori Jones, an Alabama marriage counsellor says cheating is never a good idea:

“When sex is missing from a relationship it’s tempting to have an affair, but lack of sex is usually a symptom of another problem which won’t be resolved by having a full blow affair.”

Instead we suggest, even though it can be hard for one or both parties, it is better to seek a one night stand that doesn’t result in a full blown affair or use one of the many adult dating services available on the internet to re-ignite the sex drive.


For more information about cheating and affairs take a look at the Wikipedia page on infidelity here ->

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