Gay Sexpert to Advise Aussie Couples on Infidelity

Posted by Marital Affair
Posted: November 1, 2013

Dan Savage, co-founder of the ‘It Gets Better’ campaign, which aims to offer help, advice and support to young gay and lesbian people across the world, will give a talk in Sydney offering advice to straight couples on how to cope with infidelity and how the idea of marital affairs are commonplace in todays society.

Savage will appear at the Sydney Opera House this November during the ‘Festival of Dangerous Ideas’, an annual event which brings controversial speakers to the city’s shores.

The Chicago based sex columnist and writer will speak out about infidelity and his belief that affairs are ‘the reality of long term relationships’. The commentator believes that many monogamous relationships are in reality ‘monogomish’ and asserts that if the sanctity of marriage is to be protected married couples should view the institution as a playground rather than a prison.

In a popular Youtube video released by Savage, he explains that most gay couples don’t have to worry about issues such as gender roles and take on the tasks they enjoy and are best suited to within a relationship, whilst many straight couples are concerned about the reasons why they are the main bread winner or the primary child carer.

He goes on to claim that gay people have more sex and are better at sex than straight couples because they are more open and honest when broaching the subject and more interested in ensuring they meet the needs of their partner.

Savage attests that gay people are often more in the know about sexual matters because sex is such a large part of what makes them different from straight people, so they think about it more in the same way that women think more about gender issues than men or black people think more about issues of race than white people.

According to Savage one of the biggest reasons that gay people are better at sex is because sex between a man and a woman is clearly defined as vaginal intercourse and once a woman has consented, all negotiation stops. Conversely, when two men engage in sex, the moment of consent marks the beginning, rather than the end of the conversation.

Savage highlights the importance of the phrase ‘what are you into?’, stating that asking this question empowers the other person to talk about their likes and dislikes freely. He goes on to explain that it’s particularly important for women to be asked this question rather than the assumption being that vaginal intercourse is all that’s available.

The sex advice columnist explains in his video that he receives thousands of letters from people whose relationships are crumbling because of a lack of communication, which can be a major contributing factor to infidelity and urges straight couples to communicate more openly about sex in order to develop a healthy relationship.

You can catch Dan Savage at the Sydney Opera House on Saturday, 2nd November at 12.45 where he’ll discuss what he sees as the ‘outdated’ attitude to marriage and offer straight couples ‘a healthy dose of reality’.

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