5 Reasons Why Dating Your Ex Is a Bad Idea

Posted by Marital Affair
Posted: November 13, 2014

affair dating

It may seem tempting to get back together with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend when you are looking for something outside of your marriage like an affair dating. After all, you once shared a passionate and emotional relationship, and those feelings don’t die completely. However, there are many reasons why dating your ex is a bad idea. Here are five of the biggest.

1. You’re likely to focus on why the relationship didn’t work in the first place

A break-up comes with lots of emotional baggage. If you get back together with that person, all that baggage comes with you and with your ex. As a result, you’re more likely to focus on your ex’s habits and behaviours that you don’t like, all the little things you disagree on, and the negatives that drove you apart the first time. Plus, all of these things become bigger and more pronounced when you get back together because you’re no longer discovering them for the first time. You’re actually on the lookout for them to crop up again. And, of course, if you’re looking for a reason to get upset with your ex, you’re certainly going to find one.

2. It’s too comfortable

Let’s face it, dating new people is hard and it takes a lot of time and effort. You have to figure out if you really like the person, learn their thought processes, and suss out how to really get along with them. With your ex, you already know all this stuff, which may initially be appealing. However, dating your ex sucks all the excitement out of the process. It’s just lazy. There are no butterflies in your stomach or stars in your eyes, and neither one of you will feel the urge to truly court the other and try to impress him or her. It’s going to get old — fast.

3. You really haven’t changed, and neither has your ex

People may make small changes to improve their lives, either for themselves or for a partner, but ultimately, a person’s inner emotional core and moral compass doesn’t change much. If your ex frequently got angry at little inconveniences, he or she probably still does and will continue to do so. It’s tempting to think that things will be different a second time around, but the honest truth is that they probably will not.

4. You’re going to get jealous of their sexual experiences during your breakup

And, of course, they’ll get jealous of yours. It just sets up a huge argument (or a series of huge arguments) about whom you were each with and why, and what they had that you didn’t. It will leave both of you emotionally volatile and neither of you feeling good about the relationship.

5. You’re not leaving yourself open to other, newer, and better possibilities

There are a lot of fish in the sea, as the tired old saying goes. While it may be a bit cliché, it’s also true. There are over seven billion people on the planet, and when you drag things on with one, you’re limiting yourself significantly. Instead, cut the strings, get out there, meet more people, and leave yourself open to a new connection.

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